I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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