A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
