I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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