dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
