New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
