There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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