you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
