Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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