i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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