so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
