i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
