were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
