ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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