only if we run a train.
done.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
