I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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