I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
