Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
