Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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