that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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