Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's never too late to be topless.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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