God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you win again, gameday.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
