ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
