He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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