moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
