i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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