we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
