I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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