NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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