her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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