You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
