if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
