Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize