so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
