he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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