Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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