Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
