dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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