i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
