yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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