They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
