Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
