I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
