i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize