Midget sex pt 2 tonight
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
