So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
