Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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