Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
True strength comes from lack of pants
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
