dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
