How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
