i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
