Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize