Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
