I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
