Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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