cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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