hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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