I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Randomize
