They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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