Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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