my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
