i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
