3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
