the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
