Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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