Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
