Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
