I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
