But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
