i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
