508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
