batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize